29 Gifts

Have you heard about Cami Walker and her experiment with gift giving? Several years ago, Ms. Walker was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. When her emotions and spirits flagged, a holistic health practitioner suggested she give a gift a day for the next 29 days to friends, family, acquaintances, the women at the dry cleaners. Willing to try anything to help with her new diagnosis, Ms. Walker started the giving practice with a chocolate cake for her husband, letters to old friends, a phone call to someone in need. To her surprise she started to feel better. For sure, the multiple sclerosis didn't go away but remarkably Ms. Walker found herself in less pain, needing less medication, fewer trips to the ER. Science backs up this phenomena that giving, doing for others improves our well-being and spirit. Intrigued, I thought I would give it a try.

I am now in day three of my gift giving and very much enjoying it. When I start of feel worried or anxious about something in my life, I find myself thinking about who I might gift today or tomorrow and my worries ease. There is the nurse at E's school who made her feel so comfortable when she fell ill at school this fall, P at the Y who welcomes me in for my workout, the woman who prayed with us when dad was dying. Thich Nhat Han the Vietnamese Buddist monk has said that he wouldn't want his children to live in a world without suffering because its through our own loss and grief and disappointment that we are able to most deeply care for other human beings. Giving gifts awakens my gratitude for the love and sustenance I receive unbidden everyday.

At the YMCA

I happened to be in the locker room of the local YMCA the other day as the senior water aerobics class was getting out. Seven or so old women made there way from the pool to the showers and into the changing area. One woman used a walker, another a cane, one's thoracic spine curved up into a round arc. They, as I, were in various stages of undress. It wasn't only out of politeness that I kept my gaze down. I was afraid of seeing, really seeing, what old bodies looked like. But, then I got curious. Afterall, I will be old, maybe very old, someday (hopefully) and I wondered what it might look like.

I saw a thin woman whose skin hung like a loose blanket over her entire body. Her skin folded in on itself like a delicate Japanese fan. I was impressed that she could still balance on one foot and bend down from standing to put her socks on. Another woman was very round with hardly any wrinkes. She had to sit down in order to dress and moved slowly. One woman complained to another that her hair was so thin now, "Like a baby's!" There were several scars, bruises, red spots, and moles.

I was reminded of the long purple scar that ran down my grandmother's big belly. The scar ran through her belly button which no longer lined up properly but lay askew and divided. It was startingly to discover but then became a familiar landmark. I found beauty in that scar because it lay on my grandmother's belly.

There is so much more beauty in all bodies than Madison Avenue would have us believe. (Yikes, might I have middle-aged skin!!!) Scars, blanket folds of skin, square waists, chicken necks, something unique to love, cherish, behold.